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What do you think?/Help!

I had a son two months premature who passed away after 3 weeks of life. He was born July 27 of this year and died August 21. I had a post-birth bleeding time for almost 3 weeks. My blood was rich and red until it began to thin out to a stop. Shortly after that I began taking a birth control pill that works with breast feeding/pumping to keep you from ovulating. I had one period while on that pill. Then when my son passed and I stopped pumping I had to switch to a pill that has the two chemicals needed to keep you from ovulating, it's called Loestrin I believe. I have had 5 periods while on this pill. Ever since my first period on any pill (I never took birrth control pills before I got pregnant) my blood has ranged from near black in color to a light brownish color and has had a pasty texture. Before I fell pregnant I had near regular (predictable within days) periods each month with a medium to heavy flow for 3-5 days and my blood would be rich red and taper to a pinkish brown near the end. I would have severe cramps before they would start and throughout most of my period.

Now, like I said, I bleed almost black blood. The last couple periods have gotten lighter than the one before it and more brown and less black than the one prior. I have virtually no cramps. This last period I just finished yesterday I barely bled enough over three days to fill one over nighter pad and it finally had some hint of pink in the brown. I used to go through one over nighter a day and one a night. I feel very strongly that this is wrong, that it's not natural and that the pill is doing no good in my body except chemically (not good) keeping me from getting pregnant again (good). I'm not sure what to do or if this is "normal" for being "on the pill". I almost miss my cramps this is so abnormal for me... I also used to be almost in time with the moon, bleeding near the new and ovulating near the full or vice versa. Now I'm not in time anymore and it seems like I can feel it in my body that it's not right...

Does anyone have any insight, advice, or tips? Anything is greatly appreciated.

)O( Aileen

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Permalink Reply by Aileen "The Gypsy" on January 9, 2010 at 3:49pm

So, after weeks of debating with myself and my boyfriend, I've decided to come off the pill. Yes I won't have the freedom to not have to worry bout wearing a condom or if a condom breaks anymore, but it's a sacrifice I'm (trying to be) willing to make in order to rid myself of the chemicals of birth control, to regain control and knowledge of and over my own body, to reconnect with my womb and let it heal, to get back into my natural, chemical-free, moon-induced, period. I want to bleed again, naturally.

I'm ending mid-pack so that I will bleed on the New Moon, the 15 of January. Hopefully that will jump start me into getting back into cycle with the moon faster. I will begin doing personal Moon Time rituals and Moon Blood offerings to the Earth and the Ocean.

I've also been researching extensively herbal-contraceptives/birth controls/herbal "plan B"'s and will be learning to follow my cycle and fertility naturally by observing my body and learning when I should ovulate, etc.

I wish everyone luck with their bodies, their lives, their hopes and their dreams.

Goddess Bless You All,
)O( Aileen

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Permalink Reply by Aileen "The Gypsy" on January 10, 2010 at 6:17pm

Thank you for your reply.
I'm not trying to risk another pregnancy, and my lover made it quite clear that we won't have another baby for a couple more years. I just can't stand having these chemicals in my body and how it affects me mentally and physically. I will reconsider it though.
Thank you sister.
)O( Aileen